Electric Sex

The launching of this site comes at a perfect time for the Tigers’ end of this blog: the All Star break.  It gives me a great opportunity to be totally unoriginal and cliche by handing out some mid-season accolades. 

Pitcher who came out of nowhere and allowed the Tigs to win some games in the first two months award:

Armando Galarraga.  He went 4-2 in 8 starts through the month of May.  The two games in which he garnered the ND, the Tigers won.  While guys like Verlander and Rogers were scuffling struggling with high ERAs and poor run support, ‘Mando managed to deliver solid outings when the bats decided to wake up.  He reaches the break 7-3 with an ERA of 3.27 and an ERA+ of 127.  He wins: a Comerica Park daquari (aka the fruity nightmare)

Designated Hitter who provides a new definition of “Designated Hitter” award:

Gary Sheffield.  His chilly .217/.323/.338 is worse than every other regular with the exception of Renteria.  But at least Renteria carries a glove to the yard everyday.  On a team full of DHs, it’s getting very difficult to excuse Ole Sheff.  He wins: nothing.

Player who provided exactly what I expected award:

Tie between Brandon Inge and Nate Robertson.  Despite the big bad media’s attempt to make something out of nothing in the spring and paint Brandon as a bad “team guy”...or something, he’s been exactly what he’s always been: a slightly below average hitter with some power, a great defender, and a solid backup catcher, which has come in handy with Vance Wilson’s seemingly never ending injury.  And then there’s Nate.  Our inning-eating lefty who almost always gives the Tigs a chance to win, which should be more often than not given our murder’s row of a lineup, has been a horse as usual.  He’s also sporting an ERA that’s been declining since opening day (save for a miniscule increase following his last start).  Their prize:  $25 gift card to Applebee’s.

Tigers humanitarian feline-itarian award:

Matt Jocye.  As a cat lover myself (you know what I’m sayin?!), it was heart warming to see Joyce save a kitten from the clutches of the evil batting cage.  Also, dude can mash.  He wins: a bag of cat nip.

Best Magglio impression award:

Todd Jones, hands down.  He wins: an Amy Grant CD.  (Sorry about the video, but MLB took away the good ones.)

Honorable mentions:

Justin Verlander—For fighting through a rough start to the season and looking in top shape at the break.
All those kids from the minors— For providing more than adequate service when the regs are beat up.
Joel Zumaya— For coming back from that wicked dirt biking box moving injury, dropping 20 pounds, and looking like he’s still got it.